hai guys (: so i saw a “prompt” thing on facebook which basically means you pick a word and write a story based around that word. my word was “burn” obviously :D and here is my story !
Rusted nails. Boarded up windows. Silence. And she sits, trapped in her concrete prison, within walls she had built up manically, painfully and desperately. No air flows through the maze of corridors, no pulse of life can be felt. And she sits, in the center of her barricaded fortress, breathing only the memories of a life long past.
“Happy Birthday to you!” She leans forward, eager as a young chick awaiting its first feed, and the gentle gust of wind she exhales extinguishes the candle. She shrieks with delight and lifts her eyes to the sky above, pushing her hopes and dreams along the highway to heaven. They disappear into the mist, leaving only a lingering smell of wax burning.
Hand in hand, she laughs with him over roast turkey and Christmas pudding. She snuggles against him as they prepare to open their presents, full of anticipation. The pungent smell of burnt food wafts through and she detaches herself from his embrace, laughing as she gets up. “The pie! I forgot about it”. She giggles at the state of the soot covered kitchen, and fights her way through the stinging smoke to her oven. Only a pile of crumbling pie remains, reduced to ashes.
She reaches out again and again with clinging hands, to thoughts of other times, memories of joyful moments. She clutches thin air. She thunders through the blackened paths, in search of a glimmer of light. Suddenly, she sees it. A flame flickers outside her grim dungeon, licking the walls, surrounding her. She screams out of fear, of insanity and of pain. And as the fire eats away the last strands of her hope, and clutches her dreams in its grasp with tenacious fingers, they burn. And in the depth of her heart, she burns.
i’m on a one woman mission. because of my extreme lack of concentration and just determination in doing anything i’ve decided that i need something consistent in my life! and since a boy isn’t in the scene and probably won’t be for a while i’ve turned to tumblr. not quite the same but whatever.
MISSION : Every week i’m going to pick a word. any word. noun, adjective, anything. and i’m going to write a a short post on it. a story, a poem, anything to do with the word. even a photo that i’ve taken myself.
GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS PLEASE (: AND TRY TO READ THROUGH THEM!
Since this is official i should sign my name.
Signature: ***** **** 01/12/2010 (HKT)
Not Rikkai, but I love this picture so fucking much. 83
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there are times when people need to be alone. times when they can’t make themselves feel social, when all they want is to stay in one room, not eat, and do nothing but what they want to do at that moment in time. today, all i wanted to do was to hole up in a room and read hpffs.
after almost four years of trying to deal with these bouts of plain anti-socialness and almost loneirism, i’ve almost stopped questioning the why. and yet occasionally, just sometimes, i feel the need to know why i want to be alone, why i choose to drift away from others, why being social would take so much effort and sometimes…why i’d lie just to be alone. it’s frustrating, but in these four years, i’ve never figured out the answer to the question. i’m not that good at the follow throughs, i’ll be the first to admit. and i’m sure i’d be backed up by many, whether they’ve been affected by actions of mine, or whether it’s just that they know me well. sometimes i make friends only to ignore them months later. sometimes i act on an impulse only to instantly regret it but too full of pride to take it back. i know too that these moods of mine have ruined many things, have hurt and in turn made me feel vulnerable as well. but still, there are those brief moments when i crave the company of things that don’t exist. usually in the form of some writing or another whether it’s books, fanfiction or just other peopel’s blogs.
and maybe, deep inside i’ve always known that that’s the kind of person i am. i crave things that aren’t possible in life, things that happen in stories, dreams that only some are destined to have. i’m just like every other normal person out there, i want things i don’t have, i want experiences i’ve never felt, the fairytale and the guarantee that doesn’t come hand in hand with life. i want more than just the words, but the determination and the ability to do the follow through and turn them into actions. i want to be a heroine; i want to be a me without regrets, someone who understands themselves, who can give their 100% no matter what they do and who to. someone who can over come their fear of being inferior, alone and secretly? being unloved. sometimes i want to be able to cry in front of people, or to hug someone without them mentally wondering if something’s wrong. to be able to say “ilove you” to my family without being embarassed. but most of all, someday i want to be someone who can look back on this blog entry and think to myself that i’d done it and become someone that the me now can admire.
some how this seems like a very private post..but to keep it private would feel as though i were hiding who i am from everyone else…so i hope if anyone’s reading this, that you read this with an open mind and accept this post as a part of my blog and so a part of me. and maybe i’m saying this to me as mucha s i’m saying this to anyone else…
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