& que sera sera

29th September 2010

Post

lost

it’s not often that you find yourself stuck in a room with someone who seems almost like a mirror image of yourself. however it is likely that sometime, somewhere, during a person’s life, that they will encounter people and be able to recognize in them, good and bad qualities that they themselves have. & though it’s a good thing, to know yourself… sometimes it always seems better to not know.

a child’s naivety and innocence is what makes them exactly that - a child.  and its’not the fact that innocence and naivety is lost during a human’s growth that’s depressing.  it’s the fact that once those things are lost - they are never gained back.  when a person is bullied for the first time, they learn of emotions like unacceptance, inferiority and fear.  when a person is alone for the first time, they learn that trust is to be feared, that kindness is sometimes not what it seems, and that betrayal is at every point.  & when you’ve gone through all that and more…to stand up is to bear the weight of all those things, to move on is to carry with you a mind full of burdens…and to forgive, is sometimes the hardest to do.

the idea of being “lost” is generally often…well, lost to people. during your primary school years, the only place you can really be “lost” is in the aisles of a supermarket, or the maze-like structure of department stores.  during your teenage years, being “lost” means goign out with friends aimlessly and not knowing where you are exactly or where you want to be. and though i’m not an adult, even i know that “lost” is such a lost concept on so many.  because it’s not until you realize how truly lost you are, that you realize the huge security that people take for granted from knowing where they are, who they are and why they are. 

and maybe..for the first time - though i’d hate to admit this to anyone face-to-face. i’m nothing else but lost.

25th September 2010

Post

outside looking in

wouldn’t it be nice to live the life of a fairy tale? sure, you might have to battle dragons, stare death many times in the face, lose the person that you love many times, but always, or at least for me, when i look at a fairy tale you look at it knowing you have a guarantee that something will turn out right. similarly when i watch a tv drama, i more often than not skip to the last episode, just to see if there’s a happy ending. because…well people like guarantees. people WANT to know it’ll be all right, they NEED it to be all right because then you can battle through it all knowing that somehow, in some way, things will be okay.

everything always looks complete, whole and perfect from the outside looking in.

when people paint pictures, there are those who aim for the perfect. just like me. i’ve always been the girl who drew her houses square with a triangle roof, pigs never flew, it never rained and even the most simple stick figures wore smiles on their faces. when i wrote stories, i knew they were going to be okay, no one was going to die if i coudl help it, no ambiguous endings. what i wanted was guarantee, i wanted the 100% that didn’t exist. because sometimes…just sometimes

having everything just look complete, whole and perfect is enough.

27th August 2010

Post

最在乎什麼

女孩子並不在乎你有沒有錢，
她在乎的是你會不會發奮努力改變現狀；

女孩子並不在乎與你生活在一起會遇到困難，
她在乎的是你會不會迎難而上，不逃避；

女孩子並不在乎你長得有多帥，
她在乎的是你能不能給她足夠的安全感；

女孩子並不在乎你跟你的異性朋友有多好，

她在乎的是你能不能一心一意對她好；

女孩子並不在乎你送她的禮物有多貴，
她在乎的是你會不會時常給她個驚喜；

女孩子並不在乎你的志向有多遠大，
她在乎的是你是不是一個老實做人、踏實做事的人；

女孩子並不在乎你有多浪漫，
她在乎的是能不能從生活的點滴中感受到你的愛；

女孩子並不在乎你的人可以每時每刻都陪在她身邊，
她在乎的是你的心可以無時無刻不想著她；

女孩子並不在乎你在物質生活上給她多大的滿足，
她在乎的往往是一句窩心的話，那似乎比什麼都重要；

女孩子並不在乎你現在的境況如何，
她在乎的是你能不能讓她看到你的未來；

女孩子並不在乎你跟她的關係有多親密，
她在乎的是你會不會負責到底；

女孩子並不在乎可以分享你的快樂，

她在乎的是可不可以分擔你的憂愁；

女孩子並不在乎跟你在一起吃苦，
她在乎的是陪你走到最後的是不是她。